As an independent celebrant, I have the honour of standing with people at some of life’s most significant thresholds. Weddings, naming ceremonies, renewal of vows and celebration of life services all share one thing in common. They pause time. They invite reflection. They ask us to consider what truly matters.
One book that continues to echo through my work as a celebrant is Bronnie Ware’s The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying. Written from her experiences as a palliative care nurse, the book captures the quiet truths people share when the noise of everyday life falls away. These reflections are not filled with drama or spectacle. They are simple, honest and deeply human.
Below, I explore the five most common regrets Bronnie Ware recorded, alongside the key learnings they offer us and how they shape the way I create and hold meaningful ceremonies.
1. “I Wish I’d Had the Courage to Live a Life True to Myself”
This regret appears more often than any other. Many people reached the end of life realising they had lived according to expectations placed upon them, rather than their own values or dreams.
In ceremonies, this learning becomes an invitation. Weddings are not about tradition for tradition’s sake. Funerals are not about rigid formats. As a celebrant, my role is to create ceremonies that reflect the real person, the real relationship and the real story.
Living authentically means choosing words, music, rituals and moments that feel honest. When people see themselves fully represented in their ceremony, it becomes a powerful affirmation that their life and choices matter.
2. “I Wish I Didn’t Work So Hard”
This regret is not about work itself, but about what work replaced. Time with family. Presence with loved ones. Moments that slipped past unnoticed.
Ceremonies remind us to slow down. They gather people in one place and ask them to be present. Whether it’s a wedding or a celebration of life, ceremonies are pauses in a world that rarely stops.
As Shelley Bell Celebrant, I encourage couples and families to see ceremonies not as items on a checklist, but as intentional moments of connection. These are the memories that linger long after deadlines and diaries have faded.
3. “I Wish I’d Had the Courage to Express My Feelings”
So many people spoke of words left unsaid. Love not spoken. Apologies delayed. Gratitude assumed but never voiced.
Ceremonies give us language when everyday life does not. Vows allow couples to speak their promises out loud. Eulogies allow families to express love, pride and gratitude in a shared space.
One of the most powerful aspects of a well-crafted ceremony is emotional permission. It says, “You are allowed to feel. You are allowed to speak. You are allowed to honour what matters.”
4. “I Wish I Had Stayed in Touch With My Friends”
At the end of life, relationships rise above achievements. People remember laughter, shared stories and the comfort of connection.
Ceremonies bring communities together. They reconnect people who may not see each other often. They remind us that relationships are living things that need care and attention.
As a celebrant, I see ceremonies as relational bridges. They honour not just the individual, but the network of love around them. Every story shared strengthens those bonds.
5. “I Wish That I Had Let Myself Be Happier”
Perhaps the most poignant regret of all. Many people realised happiness was not something they were waiting for, but something they were allowed to choose.
This learning sits at the heart of celebrancy. Happiness does not have to be loud or extravagant. It can be gentle, reflective, joyful or quietly content.
Ceremonies are opportunities to celebrate happiness in its many forms. Love found. Life lived. Memories cherished. They remind us that joy is not something to postpone.
Why These Lessons Matter in Ceremony and in Life
Bronnie Ware’s work is not about fear or regret. It is about awareness. When we understand what truly matters at the end of life, we can live more intentionally now.
As Shelley Bell Celebrant, I believe ceremonies are not just markers of events, but mirrors of our values. They reflect who we are, what we love and how we choose to show up in the world.
Whether you are planning a wedding, a renewal of vows or a celebration of life, these lessons invite one powerful question:
Are we honouring what truly matters?
If the answer is yes, then the ceremony becomes more than words. It becomes a legacy.
Shelley Bell Celebrant offers personalised, meaningful and heartfelt ceremonies across the UK, creating spaces where stories are honoured, emotions are welcomed and life is truly celebrated.
